The reason why I am still single today.......LAUGH AWAY YOUR SORROW

The reason why I am still single today is this.
Early 2011, my long time girlfriend Susan
who I was engaged to then started
pressurizing me to go and see her parents,
they are in dying need to see the guy that
has stolen their baby's heart and want to
spend sometime with him, get to know him,
before accepting and approving the
marriage contract, that it was a tradition in
their family. I spoke to my Mummy about it.
She told me not to worry that Uncle Chuks
would accompany me that she would speak
to him about it. Uncle Chuks was her
younger brother. My Mummy called him for a
meeting at our place the next day. She spoke
to him about it and he agreed. ''So you this
small Ofego wants to get married? How time
flies!. He exclaimed. Uncle I'm no longer a
small boy o!''. I said with pride. ''I'm now a
big boy o!''. ''Then that saying should no
longer be the young shall grow but the
young have grown.'' My Mummy laughed at
his reply. ''So this girl, where is she from and
where does her parents live?''. He asked. She
is from Ndokwa but her parents live in
Abuja!''. I replied. ''Eh-en!''. He hummed.
Uncle Chuks said we would go on friday
morning that week and be back by sunday
evening cause he can't afford to miss work,
he added we must go with his car and not
on public transport. I agreed with him to
save my transport fare. I called and informed
Susan who was on leave at the office and
with her parents in Abuja of my coming, and
she was so excited. On the way to Abuja
from Warri that friday morning Uncle Chuks
started telling me of how he travelled to Uyo
to spend time with his wife's people when
he was about getting married to her and
how he passed the tests his wife's parents
who were not free with people laid down
for him with the tips he was about giving
me. I asked, ''Which tips?''. And he said
when I get to Susan's parent's house I
should act like a gentleman and eatless of
whatever is given to me because I don't
know the kind of family Susan's family are.
''But how can I eatless Uncle you of all
people know that I'm a glutton. I only stop
eating when my tummy is feed up to the
brim.'' I said. ''You have to drop that now
while we are on the way in order not to
disgrace yourself in front of the family of
your wife to be.'' My Uncle said. ''But how
can I?''. I asked. ''You know Ofego, I am like
you in terms of in take of food.'' ''Yes
Uncle.'' ''I know''. ''Do you know what saved
me when I travelled to spend time with my
wife's people before marrying her?''. ''No
Uncle!''. ''I took my friend along with me
who when I had eaten half of the food they
served me he would scratch his head with
his right hand which is a sign for me to stop
eating. Once I see the sign. I would stop
eating immediately. That is what we are
going to do there. Once you see me
scratching my head with my right hand you
should stop eating immediately.'' ''Okay
Uncle!''. I said. We arrived Susan's family's
house in the night due to the heavy traffic
on the way. As we got there we were
welcomed with open arms by her parents.
Susan introduced me to them and I in turn
introduced my uncle, Chuks, to them. They
are four in the family, two boys and two
girls. Susan was the second. They were all
present. We were showed our room and
was invited to join the family at the dinning
table for a delicious supper of fried rice and
chicken. As we ate, the father brought a
conversation concerning his club Liverpool
on the English Premier League of how his
club was going to lift the E.P.L trophy that
season. Uncle Chuks is a Liverpool fan too
and he joyfully joined in the conversation.
One of Susan's brothers was a Chelsea fan
while the other a Manchester United fan.
They both argued with Susan's father and
Uncle Chuks, and the argument ended up in
laughs upon laughs while Susan's mother
and the girls, Susan and her sister, made fun
of them. I had not eaten up to eight spoons
when I saw Uncle Chuks right hand
scratching his head. I stopped eating. They
asked, ''Are you through?''. ''Yes!''. I lied.
''You can't be through only just now, eat
more, you've not eaten anything!''. They
said. Uncle Chuks joined them in begging
me to eat more and I knew that it was all
among the plan. So I said my stomach is
filled up, that I don't want to visit the toilet
and spend my whole night there while
others would be sleeping!. They understood
and let me be. I watched as Uncle Chuks
devoured his food and cleaned the plate. I
was so angry with him for stopping me
early while he enjoyed his food to the fullest.
My stomach hurt. I had not eaten much.
Everyone became through with their meal
and we said goodnight to each others. I and
Uncle Chuks retired to our room. I couldn't
sleep, I watched as Uncle Chuks snored
away. The hunger kept me awake. I couldn't
bear it any longer and woke Uncle Chuks up
around twelve midnight. ''I'm hungry!''. I
said. ''Why?''. He asked with sleepy eyes.
''Because you stopped me earlier than
expected.'' I replied. ''Me, I didn't stop you o,
I was only scratching my head because the
pepper on
the food was much. How can I stop you
when this family you want to marry from
are free with people. Didn't you see how
they played with us. They are not like my
wife's family so the plan shouldn't be used
here.'' ''Why didn't you tell me?''. I queried.
''I thought you had understood, yourself!''.
Uncle Chuks said and went back to sleep
and left me and my hungry stomach on our
own. As I was thinking on what to do to
quench the hunger one mind said to me
that there might still be more fried rice left
in the kitchen. So that midnight, I climbed
down to the kitchen, opened the kitchen
door with carefullness and put on the
kitchen light. I searched the pots, there was
no rice and so I opened the only cooler in
the kiitchen and there was rice and a whole
lot of chicken inside. ''Thank you Jesus!''. I
whispered and picked up a spoon, placed
the cooler on the center of the kitchen, put
off the light and started eating and singing
R.Kelly's sign of victory.
It got to a point I threw away the spoon and
started eating with my bare hands. My mind
was so focused on the food. I dealt with the
chicken one after the other mercilessly and
ate the rice ruthlessly. As I was eating, the
kitchen light was put on. I was shocked.
Standing before me was Susan's father,
mother, her siblings and Susan herself.
Susan is now married with children, while I
am still single.